What is self-love? Often it is confused with self-care or even selfishness, but it is not any of those. According to the Merriam Webster’s definition of self-love, it is; ” an appreciation of one’s own worth or virtue and a proper regard for and attention to one’s own happiness or well-being.” So in other words, self-love is unconditional love, that no matter what, you always love yourself with the same strength.
Through most of my youth and into my early twenties, I did not always like myself and I didn’t love myself. That’s only because I was bullied for over ten years and I really thought that I was bad, stupid and not worthy of anything. It took me many years, many moments of tears and experiences to get to where I am today. I love myself for who I am today and for what I have become; strong, confident, happy and full of life. My journey as a growing person is not over, I am growing every day and I wanted to share some steps that have guided and helped me on my way to self-love.
First of all, self-love is something that comes from within. If we always judge ourselves and give ourselves bad feedback, our understanding of ourselves becomes limited. We need to get to know ourselves, who we are, what we like etc. and remember we are all at the same time unique and amazing beings.
You’ve probably sometimes, when something good has happened, given yourself a reward of some sort or just felt good and amazing, and the same thing when something bad has happened, you’ve judge yourself and pushed yourself into a wheel of self- doubt and despair. I’ve been in that situation many times myself and the way back is long and sometimes hard. What helped me was a couple of steps that I did and what I am still doing. Remember you are your worst enemy and you are your best friend. To grow and change as a person, you need to be open for it. What helped me might not help you all the way. Self-love comes from within.
1. Meditation
As I first started this journey to meditate, it was foreign and weird for me. I didn’t really know what it was or how to do it. But as soon as I started to meditate I grew more accustomed to it and started to like it. It has made me more calm, relaxed and more in tune with myself. I usually meditate in the evening 15 minutes and four to five times a week in the morning. If you choose to start meditate, the most important thing to remember is to choose a place where you feel secure and confident. A place of calm and serenity. The way you choose to meditate is yours alone.
2. Become aware of your inner voice and take control of it.
We all have that small voice in our head that tells us to do this or that. Like if you’re in the shop and all of a sudden you want chocolate, but you’re on a diet and you know it’s not the right day to eat something sweet. So you argue with yourself about, if you should buy the chocolate or not. We all do this everyday and sometimes this same voice that we have inside of us, can push us down really hard. Its your own thoughts about yourself that burst forward and if we tell ourselves that we are worthless, we start to believe in it. Instead of letting our inner voice push us down, start giving yourself beautiful thought. Tell yourself everyday how amazing you are, it will take time, but it will become true after awhile and you’ll start to believe in it.
3. Affirmations
You may wonder what affirmations are? Well, they are words of courage to keep you growing as a person and encouraging you forward. I have my affirmations written in my bullet journal, in my phone and on my bedroom wall. Affirmations can be; I am amazing, I am wonderful, I am manifesting wealth etc. I recommend you to make your own affirmations. The key is to tell them to yourself everyday. That’s what I’m doing every day.
4. Journalling
This can be anything you want it to be. I have my bullet journal, that I fix every week and daily. If you don’t know what a bullet journal is, it is a self-made journal where you have a calander of every month, every week and every day. It contains also stuff like goals, places I want to visit, or weekly workouts etc. You can also keep a normal journal where you write your thoughts and feelings or you can make an art journal, which I also do. It’s up to you what you want to do.
5. Treat yourself with something
We all have at some point in our lives won something or gotten a good grade in a course or gotten something that we have worked hard for and this has felt good. We have also at some point been in love, that feeling with butterflies in the stomach and we love our family and friends. Many times we give our family and friends gifts, like birthday gifts or something else. This is something that we should do to ourselves also. So if you feel stressed of just down, give yourself something. Maybe you want to take a weekend for yourself away in the countryside just to chill and relax, do that. We all need to give ourselves a break sometimes and this, the feeling of loving someone else is something we should also do to ourselves.
So remember, self-love comes from within and it is a journey that takes time and when you arrive at your destination, you’ll love yourself unconditionally. To be in tune with yourself and accept all the good and the bad, you’ll feel at peace and happy. That’s something I feel now days and I am happy to have had shared this story with you.
If you want to connect more, follow me on Instagram @evaconrad_official. There I post daily quotes, personal thoughts, my journey as a growing person and life coach.
TheEvaConrad 